Transvestia

dividuality are expressed. As we keep building up the total volume of these individuality-destroying memories they tend to start pushing themselves into the conscious part of the brain. It is these repressions that produce

neurosis.

Among these individuality-destroying memories I would rank the most crushing ones as those memories which point out our nothingless within the universe. do not see how it is possible for the brain to fail in receiving this message. Any starry night would drive it home. And especially, when we consider our lack of in- dividuality within our own species. This finally drives home the realization of our nothingness in the universe..

Where does this leave man in general and transvestites in particular? Not in a very good position. We are aware of our separateness from all things in an emotional sense, and yet intellectually, we are also aware of our nothing- less in the universe. This last awareness of nothingness often remains safely repressed in our subconscious; but when it rises up sparks fly...

I think man handles this conflict between emotion- ally realizing his separateness while intellectually feel ing he is nothing in the universe through the age-old religious dodge. He creates a God in his own ideal image and worships it. All Gods, past and present, always pro- ject the picture of the perfect man. All are just, merci- ful, forgiving, etc. All the things man wants to be but his left-over animalness won't allow him to be.

But his religion allows him the most important of all things it gives him a separate identity. Through that Godhead he becomes a separate part of the universe. He has been created right along with everything else by a supreme being. He is no longer a nothingness. Once this is established an identity is formed.

If is a simple step to go from this point to the estab- lishment of an individual self. We become a separate person from all other persons via our mother. She is a living Godhead in the sense of creativity. She has pro- duced us, just as our Godhead has produced the universe and all that is in it. If man is an individual because of